A couple of weeks ago I was driving in my car and the program I was listening to was discussing forgiveness and reconciliation. Listening to this program made me really begin to analyze the difference between the two and the impact each has on a person’s life.
According to dictionary.com, the definition of forgiveness means: 1. act of forgiving or being forgiven and 2. disposition or willingness to forgive. The definition of reconciliation, according to dictionary.com, means: 1. act of reconciling, as when former enemies agree to an amicable truce, 2. the state of being reconciled, as when someone becomes resigned to something not desired, and 3. the process of making consistent or compatible.
Reconciliation requires two or more people to find a common ground when a situation occurs that causes issues between them. A person may say that they have “reconciled” themselves to something that happened to them, but the reality is, unless that person has found the restoration or harmony with another, they have not truly been able to finalize the whole situation to put it to rest in their life. Two or more people must want the reconciliation of a situation for that situation to find a resolution.
Forgiveness, which can occur between two or more people, is really a singular act for each person. A person who refuses to find forgiveness for someone or something that has caused them pain or wrongdoing, allows the other party to live rent free in their head. I say this because, when you refuse to let go of the pain, hurt, and damage done against you, you force yourself to live in that moment every day of your life and allow it to control you and all your decisions you make.
“I’m sorry” is a hard statement to make and many times even harder to accept. Hearing this statement does not take the pain, wrongdoing, and damage away. Even if you cannot reconcile yourself with the person that caused the hurt, you can choose to forgive that person. It is only with the forgiving that you can truly begin to heal.
The state of forgiveness is where you find the freedom to move past the pain, wrongdoing, and damage that is causing you to suffer. Forgiveness takes away the “live here rent free” sign in your head. Learning to forgive any pain, damage, or wrongdoing done against you will allow your body and mind to begin to heal.
You may never forget the pain, damage, or wrongdoing done against you and you may never be able to reconcile the situation with the person that caused the harm, but when you allow yourself to forgive, that pain will become less; that damage will begin to mend; and that wrongdoing will begin to fade as each day goes by. You will begin to feel the sensation of the freedom you are allowing yourself when you choose to forgive. After all, you deserve to be free mind, body, and soul. 🙂
Do you struggle with one or both of these things in your life, Dear Bloggite? How have you handled situations or people in the past who caused you to hurt? Share your thoughts and experiences, and together, we will work through it.