Posted in This & That

Mind Over Matter

As I sit here hanging with my GrandKiddo, I realize that these are the times that I most enjoy.  People get so busy doing things that they really do not allow time to just be in the moment.  I am guilty of this as well.  I prefer to be busy most of the day because if I am not doing something, I get very bored and sleepy.

Sleep is a rare thing for me.  I have been an insomniac for most of my life and I do good falling asleep and sleeping for an hour or two before waking throughout the night.  I have accepted that this is my life and as I get older and my body prefers getting up Uber Early every day now, sleep becomes more elusive.

Being bored will make me sleepy and depending on my pain level, I may fall asleep on occasion, but normally, I stay awake and think of what I can do to pass the time.  I have many videos and shows I like to watch and of course, there is always a book ready for me to read at the tip of my fingers that help pass the time.  But just hanging out with my GrandKiddo or GrandKiddos, or family, or friends, THOSE are the best things to alleviate the boredom and sleepiness.

I know I may be rambling and not really on topic of Mind Over Matter as this blog is titled, but it all ties in together.  I promise, Dear Bloggites. 🙂  We have all heard the phrase mind over matter.  The all-encompassing “If you don’t mind, it don’t matter” attitude that many take when they don’t really feel like getting into the nitty-gritty of life with other people.  This is their way of dismissing someone’s feelings while sounding supportive.

That statement is really not a nice statement.  It tells someone that if they can just accept what is happening to them without questioning it, then the feeling they are having is unnecessary and unimportant.  How sad is that?  When did it become okay to dismiss our feelings?  Now, I know what you are thinking, everyone has extreme feelings in this day and age, but really, it is just extreme because they have been conditioned to dismiss how they feel and so when their feelings get so overwhelming from being ignored, they explode.

I think I am going to go back to allowing myself to feel every moment and to appreciate what I am feeling.  When I appreciate what I feel, it helps me to become more appreciative of the world and people around me.  I said in my blog a couple of days ago or so that I was done trying to be who I used to be.  Embracing the emotions, I feel in the moment is a big step for me to let go of the past and the ME BEFORE.

No more hiding my emotions from others but also no more of the extreme blow ups of feelings.  Now, if you know me, you all know that I don’t show my emotions so you may be a bit confused by my statements here, but I do feel emotions, but I have also learned to hide them from others because I have to be the strong one.  The decision maker.

I will still be the strong one and the decision maker because that is truly how I am built, but the decision to not hide my emotions is really a decision for myself.  I will see my emotions now and not ignore them with the mind over matter facts.  I will allow myself to feel the nitty-gritty of the emotions washing over me and I will smile every time.

Because really, at the end of our lifetime, you should mind because it does matter. Smiling and embracing ourselves in a positive way is the best way to be true to yourself and feeling your emotions is the truest way you can ever be you.

~4-Ever, P

Posted in #BloggiteBits Campaign

#BloggiteBits-Be P.R.E.S.E.N.T.

Be P.R.E.S.E.N.T.: Pay attention, Respond openly, Express thoughts, Speak kindly, Embrace feelings, Never ignore, Treat fairly

#BloggiteBits-Be Present
Be P.R.E.S.E.N.T.

In this second installation (albeit delayed) of the ABCs of encouragement with the #BloggiteBits Campaign, I want everyone to Be P.R.E.S.E.N.T. when interacting with others: Pay attention, Respond openly, Express thoughts, Speak kindly, Embrace feelings, Never ignore, & Treat fairly.

 Pay attention: When people interact with each other in this technological age, they really do not engage or pay attention to the person they are “interacting” with.  People are so wired in to their social media that they tend to disregard the importance of being with someone.  When you are spending time with a person, pay attention to what they are saying.  Nothing on your phone is more important that validating the person you are physically with by listening and paying attention.  Remember, Attention to one another always helps validate our lives.

Respond openly: One of the best relationships to cultivate is one of pure, loving honesty.  When you are engaging someone, always respond to them in an open manner to let them know that you care and want to hear what they have going on in their life.  The way the world is today, it is usually safest to keep yourself guarded, but when dealing with personal relationships, that guard must be put down and you must respond in an open manner if you want the relationship to truly flourish and change each other.  An open demeanor is always inviting and appreciated.

Express thoughts:  Social media has been the downfall of expressing thoughts in a tactful way.  It is easy to express negative, hateful thoughts to the world without a face.  This is not good if you want to grow strong, honest relationships with friends, family, or anyone.  When you are engaged one on one with someone, express thoughts about the subject being discussed.  As nice as it is to have someone just listen, it is that much nicer when that person becomes part of the discussion by expressing what they think.  By expressing thoughts on the topic at hand, you are letting that person know that you are hearing what they are saying and are truly listening to the conversation.  Thoughts are better shared in a tactful, loving way.

Speak kindly: As I touched a little on the negative effects of social media when interacting with others, I will reiterate the need to always speak kindly to others.  You do not know what that person you are interacting with online or in person is truly going through, and a kind word spoken gently to them will have such a positive impact on their life, one that you may never realize.  Just as it takes one negative word to take a life, it also takes just one kind word to save one.  Kind words cause a positive ripple effect in the social world and will always be paid forward to others.

Embrace feelings: I am one of those people that instinctively react in a logical, cool demeanor, however, I try to always embrace my feelings I am going through at the time.  Embracing feelings allows a person to fully understand where they are at in their life.  If you embrace your feelings while interacting with others, your ability to engage all understanding will be heightened.  When you are talking with someone and you are overwhelmed with an emotion, embrace it and share it with the person you are talking to.  Expressing the feelings will help that person understand where you are in your life and at that moment in time while talking to them.  Feelings are meant to be expressed, shared, and embraced to fully live your life.

Never ignore: No one likes to be ignored.  I have yet to meet someone that says they like being ignored over having attention given to them.  When you are spending time with someone, do not ignore them or dismiss them for social media stuff.  Being present in life means engaging it and people.  Never ignore your present interaction for something unimportant.  Life is meant to be lived.  Ignoring a person will never help that relationship grow into something strong and life-changing.

Treat fairly: When you are dealing with someone, treat them fairly.  No one wants to be mistreated or feel taken advantage of.  Treat people fairly in life.  There is too much hate and unfair treatment in this world.  People are so self-involved in this “me” society that they do not think they are expected to be fair.  Be the exception.  Fair treatment of others always impacts their lives.

~4-Ever, P