Posted in Encouragement, Writer Musings

Forgiveness vs Reconciliation

A couple of weeks ago I was driving in my car and the program I was listening to was discussing forgiveness and reconciliation.  Listening to this program made me really begin to analyze the difference between the two and the impact each has on a person’s life.

According to, the definition of forgiveness means: 1. act of forgiving or being forgiven and 2. disposition or willingness to forgive.  The definition of reconciliation, according to, means: 1. act of reconciling, as when former enemies agree to an amicable truce, 2. the state of being reconciled, as when someone becomes resigned to something not desired, and 3. the process of making consistent or compatible.

Reconciliation requires two or more people to find a common ground when a situation occurs that causes issues between them.  A person may say that they have “reconciled” themselves to something that happened to them, but the reality is, unless that person has found the restoration or harmony with another, they have not truly been able to finalize the whole situation to put it to rest in their life.  Two or more people must want the reconciliation of a situation for that situation to find a resolution.

Forgiveness, which can occur between two or more people, is really a singular act for each person.  A person who refuses to find forgiveness for someone or something that has caused them pain or wrongdoing, allows the other party to live rent free in their head.  I say this because, when you refuse to let go of the pain, hurt, and damage done against you, you force yourself to live in that moment every day of your life and allow it to control you and all your decisions you make.

“I’m sorry” is a hard statement to make and many times even harder to accept.  Hearing this statement does not take the pain, wrongdoing, and damage away.  Even if you cannot reconcile yourself with the person that caused the hurt, you can choose to forgive that person.  It is only with the forgiving that you can truly begin to heal.

The state of forgiveness is where you find the freedom to move past the pain, wrongdoing, and damage that is causing you to suffer.  Forgiveness takes away the “live here rent free” sign in your head.  Learning to forgive any pain, damage, or wrongdoing done against you will allow your body and mind to begin to heal.

You may never forget the pain, damage, or wrongdoing done against you and you may never be able to reconcile the situation with the person that caused the harm, but when you allow yourself to forgive, that pain will become less; that damage will begin to mend; and that wrongdoing will begin to fade as each day goes by.  You will begin to feel the sensation of the freedom you are allowing yourself when you choose to forgive.  After all, you deserve to be free mind, body, and soul. 🙂

Do you struggle with one or both of these things in your life, Dear Bloggite?  How have you handled situations or people in the past who caused you to hurt?  Share your thoughts and experiences, and together, we will work through it.

~4-Ever, P

Posted in #BloggiteBits Campaign

#BloggiteBits-Keep F.O.C.U.S.

Keep F.O.C.U.S.: Forgive quickly, Occupy quality time, Circle yourself in positive energy, Use time wisely, Showcase abilities

#BloggiteBits-Keep Focus
Keep F.O.C.U.S.

How many of you have found yourself unable to concentrate on things?  Have you been distracted from tasks you were working on?  I know I have been guilty of the easy distractions of squirrels and shiny objects. 🙂 In this installment of the ABCs of encouragement with the #BloggiteBits Campaign, I am going to give you some pointers on how you can take those distractions and turn them into a way to Keep F.O.C.U.S. on the important things in life: Forgive quickly, Occupy quality time, Circle yourself in positive energy, Use time wisely, & Showcase abilities.

Forgive quickly: Forgiveness is one of those hard things to allow yourself when someone has wronged you in life.  However, if you do not allow yourself to forgive someone, it becomes a heavy weight in your life and mind.  If you do not forgive someone for wronging you, you are allowing them to live rent free in your mind.  When someone is living rent free in your mind, they tend to take up a lot of energy which causes you to lose focus in life.  One of the ways you can learn to keep focus on the important things in life is learn to forgive.  Forgiving does not mean you forget the wrong that was done to you, it just means you are not going to waste your time allowing them to live rent free in your mind.

Occupy quality time: Quality time; we all need and lack it in our lives.  To keep focus on the important things in life, you need to find a way to occupy quality time with yourself and others.  Quality time with yourself sounds funny, but it is how you regroup and refresh your mind for all that life has thrown at you as well as what life will throw at you.  Occupying quality time with others is just that, make sure each moment you spend with someone is of a quality value: complete focus, no distractions, listen to what they are saying, engage in their life, etc.  The best way to keep focused on the important things in life is to occupy quality time every chance you get.

Circle yourself in positive energy: YAY, Positive Energy! 😉 A great way to keep focus is to circle yourself in positive energy by surrounding yourself with people who will lift you up and challenge you to become the next level of you.  It is very important for people to feel validated on who they are and what they are doing.  Finding people who have the perfect balance of encouragement and constructive criticism is hard.  When you are out and about, be sure to gravitate to those friends who will be the ones who will circle you with positive energy.

Use time wisely: We have all heard the phrase “Time Management” at some point in our lives and it has its merits.  To help keep focus on the important things in life, you should manage your time wisely.  Be sure those you feel take priority in your life receive plenty of time from you.  Projects, work, kids, family, and spouses-they all will demand your time.  You need to use time wisely to be able to provide the needs of others as well as providing your own needs to keep you focused on the important things.

Showcase abilities: This tip sounds odd, however, how many of you remember that moment when you know you perfected something and it was witnessed by others?  It is okay to showcase your abilities you have.  Be proud of your achievements, you worked hard for them!  Keeping the focus on the important things is also about feeling proud of your abilities and validating yourself as someone worthy of validation.

~4-Ever, P