Posted in Encouragement, Writer Musings

Your Outlook On Life

Have you ever listened to your internal thoughts?  You know the ones, Dear Bloggites, the little voice in your head constantly telling you this and that on everything you do in life.

I love to learn; and when I learn some interesting facts or a new thought process, I take notice.  I am that person that hopes for the best and plans for the worst.  Having that type of outlook on life, for me, allows me to enjoy the little things in life while being prepared for the unexpected.

That little voice or internal thought is my joy and pain.  My joy because I know I can do anything I set my mind to do and usually when I make up my mind to do something, I rarely change it.  But on the flip side of that, the inner thoughts are my pain.  I am constantly catching myself doing negative speak in my head.  You know the kind – “You’re an idiot”, “Stupid”, “Ugly”, etc.  I hear them all the time trying to take forefront in my brain and it is a constant battle for me.

If you have ever spent five minutes with me, you will probably be surprised by this admission, but it is true.  The negativity bleeds in my brain about myself a lot and I am constantly having to patch up the wound.  That is why most people would be shocked to know that I even have one negative thought in my brain because I CHOOSE to embrace this Journey called Life and so whenever I hear the negative monster stomping up the isle in my mind, I slam the door shut and repeat positive thoughts that void the negative.

Doing this trick – changing the negative to the positive – is hard because you must make a conscious effort to really listen to your mind and thoughts all the time.  Some days are harder than other days, but I keep the fight going because at the end of the day, I want to look at myself in the mirror and know I did right by everyone I was in contact with as well as doing right by myself.

What do you struggle with and how do you deal with it?  Share your thoughts below.  I look forward to chatting with you.

~4-Ever, P

Posted in Writer Musings

Easter Musings

Happy Easter, Ya’ll! 🙂  Today was a rare day and a glorious one.

I will start on the rare day first:

Today was a rare day because work was actually closed all day!  Last time we closed was on Christmas Day, so I decided we were off on Easter Sunday.  It was really nice to not have to get up and load the computer and start processing orders.  I was able to turn off my regular alarm, lazily wake up, and then have cuddle time with my dog, Ragonk.  I went to Bible Study class, then spent the afternoon with family.  It was wonderful!  I truly believe the mind and body need rest and with the industry that my business is in, it prevents that ability due to being a seven-day a week industry.  I feel the pressure of working seven days.  I am trying to create boundaries to allow my mind and body to get the needed rest and today was a first step on that journey. 🙂

What do you do to get the rest for your mind and body, Dear Bloggite?  Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Now, onto the glorious one:

Being a Christian, today I celebrated the Risen Christ after His crucifixion and three-days in the tomb.  Today reminds believers that Christ is alive and well and He has overcome death.  I have many friends who are Christians and many who are not, and one of the biggest differences I see in these two types of friends is the fear of death.  When you are not a believer in Christ, you view death as an ending with nothingness after.  When you are a believer in Christ, death is just the beginning of a life everlasting with Christ.  As a believer, I do not fear death, I welcome it when it is my time to go because I know I will go to a better place than this Earth.  That knowledge is so refreshing and having that knowledge, I rejoice in the life people lived after they pass and rejoice in their life everlasting if they are a believer.  It is amazing to be free of the fear of death and I wish everyone could feel that. 😀

What do you believe in, Dear Bloggites?  Do you celebrate life and death, or do you live with the fear of death each day of your life?  Share your belief in the comments below.

~4-Ever, P

Posted in Writer Musings

Remember When…

Let’s turn back time to 2017.  Remember when I posted New Year, New Start 2017 on January 1, 2017?  Don’t remember, Dear Bloggites, click the link, take a moment to read the post, I can wait right here for you.  Let me know when you are back.

Okay, now that you are back, I had grand plans with those three key words: Change, Passion, and Luck.  Today, I was flipping through my notebook of the different scribbles I make, some on new written works, some on classes, some on random thoughts to do something with, on this flipping excursion, I came across this:

Goals 2017

Now, if you look real close, you will see the graph I made on adding one new thing each month.  January just had ‘Skin Regiment’ which I started (thus the check over it); February added ‘Get Dressed’, odd goal but those of you who work from home will understand the ease it is to just stay in the PJs all day; March added ‘Workout’ to the other two items.  Now, as you already have noticed, I did not check off ‘Get Dressed’ or ‘Workout’ and the ensuing months, I added nothing, nada, the big fat 0!

All those goals and plans withered away and died as life began demanding all my time.  Also, the items and sub-items for Change, Passion, and Luck, did not happen.  A synopsis of the goals and if it happened or not:

Change 1: I will find myself on my own again with my son, the dog, and the guinea pig with no roommate for the first time in, geez, years – Did not happen and we lost my son’s guinea pig earlier this year.  Still hoping the roommate moves out but until he can find sustainable money coming in, I don’t see it happening too soon. 😦

Change 2: I have been paying for a gym membership for the past year and have not utilized it…going to utilize this gym membership to change my health for the better and reach the weight I am happiest at once again – Did not happen, however, I did let that gym membership close and now I paid for an entire year at another gym closer to my house, maybe this year…

Change 3: My current business is surviving this lull in the industry and seems to finally have bounced back…continue to find ways to build income from this business – My current business is still struggling and my co-worker is looking for another job because there is not enough work for two people to do (if you have not figured it out, my roommate is my co-worker).

Change 4: I am going to take advantage of the social invites I get and start actually going – Didn’t happen, I am getting better, but not where I wanted to be.

Passion 1: I have a wordsmith business…I plan on growing this business up, one client at a time and look forward to the new relationships I shall make along the way – While I have had some clients, it is nowhere near where I wanted to be at this time now.

Passion 2: I am now looking at taking myself seriously as a writer and growing this part of me on a personal level…My goal is to sign up for some form of writing class each month to build my talent as a writer and start opening doors to the publishing world to promote myself as a writer – I did good with the classes for the first three months, as well as, writing, but then life scattered the classes and writing to the wind.

Luck 1: I know with every situation I face, I will need a little luck in finding my way – Luck is still my friend but decided to work in the background and not allowing all the doors and opportunities to be opened.

Luck 2: Waking up every morning…just start finding things to fill my time outside work – Did not happen.  Waking up did, but nothing outside work.

As, you can all see, my goals and plans were dust in the wind rather quickly.  Now that a new year is here and pretty much at the same point when last year’s goals petered out, I am ramping up my determination and going to push through everything to obtain these goals this year.

I hope you travel on this journey with me, Dear Bloggites, because it is lonely sometimes and encouragement and especially accountability go a long way.  If you do not see me posting for a while, shoot me a comment here and give me the proverbial “Kick in the Ass” to get me going again.

~4-Ever, P

Posted in Writer Musings

New Year, New Start 2017

Hello, Dear Bloggites!  If I plan this right, I will post this right at Midnight.  As you all know, I have had some major personal challenges with My Dad’s illness and ultimate passing, so my life as I knew it was put on hold to care for him.  Since his passing, I have felt like I am floundering.  I am at peace knowing he is in heaven with the Good Lord, pain free, and partying with the J-Dude, yet my heart and soul have a deep hole that has yet to begin to heal.

This afternoon, someone posted one of those silly tests you see all the time on Facebook.  This one was a crossword puzzle with the statement that the first word(s) you see will define your 2017 (paraphrasing here on the actual description/directions).  I saw three words right away which got me thinking.  These words may have come from a silly test, but I can see how they do define my plans for this upcoming year.  Those three words were (in order): Change, Passion, Luck.

Change: I do plan on changing much in my life this New Year.  Living wise, alone at last; Health wise, both physical and mental; Work wise, continue to grow my current business and build my wordsmith business; Social wise, beat this reclusive mode and get back out in the world with family and friends.

Change 1: I will find myself on my own again with my son, the dog, and the guinea pig with no roommate for the first time in, geez, years.  This is a wonderful feeling for me.  I have always loved my independence and even though having a roommate is a good financial help, it kills my independence.

Change 2: I have been paying for a gym membership for the past year and have not utilized it due to my Father’s poor health and work demands.  I am going to utilize this gym membership to change my health for the better and reach the weight I am happiest at once again.

Change 3: My current business is surviving this lull in the industry and seems to finally have bounced back to allow the financial freedom of working at home to continue.  I will continue to find ways to build income from this business.

Change 4: I am going to take advantage of the social invites I get and start actually going!  I will find the balance to be able to focus on work yet still build my social life I used to enjoy before opening a business.

Passion: I am Italian, I ooze passion but lately my pores have been blocked up.  I still love life but the passion for it was extremely dimmed with the passing of my Dad.  I do plan on reigniting the passionate love affair I hold for life in my professional and personal worlds.

Passion 1: I have a wordsmith business that until recently, has just been a hobby because I have a passionate love affair with anything associated with the written word.  I plan on growing this business up, one client at a time and look forward to the new relationships I shall make along the way.

Passion 2: I am now looking at taking myself seriously as a writer and growing this part of me on a personal level.  All my life I have written in some form or another to comfort my soul.  From journaling my exciting life as a kid to adult all the way to having started my own novel in hopes of publishing.  My goal is to sign up for some form of writing class each month to build my talent as a writer and start opening doors to the publishing world to promote myself as a writer.

Luck: I feel luck is created by opportunities in my life.  I find the possibilities and opportunities and from there luck grows.  Who doesn’t want luck in their life, heck they even have a sayings for it, “Luck, you’re either born with it or you are not.” or “You either have good luck or bad luck.” etc.

Luck 1: I know with every situation I face, I will need a little luck in finding my way.  The luck will come from determination and communication.  I am determined to see my goals through any time I create them and will stop at nothing to reach them because I always strive to reach the new level of me.  Communication with other like-minded individuals on a professional and personal level will help me find the lucky contact that will help me reach the next level of me on my journey to build my businesses.

Luck 2: Waking up every morning and shaking off the empty hole in my heart and soul and just start finding things to fill my time outside work.  My current business demands so much of my time daily, that I tend to just stay home and do nothing when the office is ‘closed’ but no more.  Even if it is just getting up, putting on my clothes (no joke, you do not understand how easy it is to just stay in my PJs while working from home, it is after all one of the perks), doing my face (new skin regiments starts on the 1st of January), and going for a drive to the country to sit in a field.

These three items being the words I saw in the silly little test, I am reminded of my above planned goals I have been making for myself.  See, I don’t believe in resolutions, they are made to be broken, but planned goals are something you work toward and are not made to be broken.  Goals are simply a future achievement of the next level of you.  I like that image in my head, so goals are my thing, not resolutions.

My goals associated with the three words are pretty simple, yet complex at the same time.  Change is unavoidable in life and I have some major changes ahead of me as you can see.  Everything that happens in life causes change and I look forward to it, heck, I not only look forward to it, I anticipate it with great passion, and luck!

There you have it, Dear Bloggites, my thoughts on the upcoming New Year and all the wonderful new experiences it holds.  We live in a wonderful world, because after all, we are blessed every day we wake up and breathe in the new day.  I plan on embracing that world with all my heart and soul and I hope you enjoy experiencing these things along the way as I share them with you!

Happy New Year!  Keep Being.  Keep Experiencing.  Keep Sharing.  Keep Trekking. 🙂

~4-Ever, P

Posted in This & That

Cancer Scare

WARNING DISCLAIMER: Gory personal information! 🙂

Hello, Dear Bloggites, long time no blog. Well lots of stuff has been going on in my UberGoofy World of P. The latest of these challenges was the Cancer Scare. I have been bleeding constantly for a year and I finally went to see my doctor (yes I know what you are thinking, ‘why wait a year?’ well probably simply because I tend to disregard issues with my health way too much for way too long).

Well he took some blood tests and informed me he thinks I have this ultra-rare form of Cancer called Uterine Sarcoma. He did a biopsy of the uterus and then put me on a strong cancer pill that is only prescribed to advanced Cancer patients. So after a week of wondering if I had Cancer, I finally received the news from my doc that the biopsy was negative, however, this form of Cancer could be growing on the smooth walls of my muscles behind the uterus…hence, even if the biopsy was negative I could still have it.

He scheduled me for an emergency hysterectomy to remove my uterus and possibly my ovaries as well (can we say ‘Hello Menopause!’?). I was excited about the hysterectomy because I do not plan on having any more children and it would stop the bleeding to death.

The surgery was a week ago this past Monday and I am recovering well. Doc says my uterus was extremely enlarged and full of blood (yummy). He said the pathology department will test it to see what caused the issues but good news, there were no signs of Cancer in my muscle walls (YEAH!!!).

So I am out for 8 weeks because it will take my body that long to heal so, yet again, I cannot dance yet. I have not danced since last December and it is killing me!!!! I hate not being at the studio and dancing with my wonderful teacher. It will happen though, I refuse to give it up.

~4-Ever, P