Posted in Writer Musings

The Struggle Is Real, People!

Hey, All!  It’s me again.  I know, SHOCKING, two blogs back-to-back, and even more shocking, they are not on book reviews!  I am still doing my reviews as I read, but as you can see, with the lack of review posts, that I have not been reading (Bad, P, Goofy JugglingBad!!!).

We all start the new year with grand goals and plans for our life and most of us see those grand goals and plans fizzle as the months go on, well guess what, mine fizzled as soon as it was out of the proverbial gate at the beginning of the year.  I love to write, I love to read, I love books, as you know, Dear Bloggites, and I make plans to do this, and this, and this, and then life says, “Deal with THIS!” and all my plans get scattered to the wind.

Last year, 2017, I promised myself that I would get back to writing my novel I started before my Dad’s Cancer spread and was put on hold for me to take care of him and his needs.  I was blessed to have those last months with my Dad, but I promised myself after he passed that I was going to focus on my writing.  So, Dad passed in August of 2016, and I miss him every freaking day, he was my best friend and my sound board, and I flounder now when I am struggling with things.

I promised myself 2017 would be the year my writing career took off, and I was doing well for the first month and the second month: I was taking writing classes, signing up for writing retreats, writing daily on my novel, etc. and in the third month, my business got busy, so writing was put off due to long days of working my business.  That busyness carried into the fourth month with writing classes going by the wayside along with the writing because my brain was fried from the demands of work.

The fifth month rolls around and I found myself in the hospital with my sister who almost died.  We spent two months in the hospital, her fighting for life, and me fighting for her rights while she could not.  Praise God, the fight won and Four of Seven (my name for her in the Familial Roll Call) came back to us.  She struggled for many months, but she was alive and had all her faculties.

By the time all this took place, I found myself facing the last few months of the 2017 with minimal progress on my writing and all my plans and goals shot to hell and resting where all writing projects go to die.  So, I rallied.  I promised myself that 2018 was going to be the year my writing career took off (sounds like a bad case of ground hog’s day, the movie) and I was going to change my work hours to accommodate my time to allow focus on writing.  I was going to blog regularly, book reviews and writing progress and whatever I want to share, and I was going to start on the classes again and try and give the writing retreat another shot.

Then January 1, 2018 was here, and I was laid up with a severe case of the Flu.  For the first two weeks, I was in bed, barely working, and wishing I was dead just to make the terrible feeling go away.  I recovered from that only to find that my body has decided it wants to start causing me issues with more intense pain aside from my chronic pain I live with from the car accident I had in 2005.  It hurt to move a finger, and I am still struggling with this factor as of today.  But, once again, my plans and goals for my writing career were blown out of the water.

But guess what?  I came prepared with a rope to pull it back in.  Well, sort of.  I am doing writing classes and I am getting so stoked and encouraged that I am feeling the tingle in my fingers and the yearning in my brain to put pen to paper (or finger to keystroke).  Something I honestly have not felt since before my Dad got sick.

See, I can make all these plans and set all these goals, but if the desire and passion are not there, the plans and goals are easy to disregard.  Without passion, any activity or goal becomes work, or for me, just another job after hectic days with my business.

I did not get it until I started listening to all the different authors who were interviewed in the Women In Publishing Summit offered by Alexa Bigwarfe and sponsored by Vivante.  This is not a plug for anyone, however, I do want to thank Alexa for bringing the passion back for the writing mojo I love.  Alexa’s book, Ditch The Fear-Just Write It!, had the greatest statement that spoke to me.  The statement was, “Warning.  This is no ordinary plan.  It is the ass-kicker you need when you want to give up.”

This statement may not mean anything to you, but OH MY GOODNESS, it was like I was slammed in the head with a resounding, “DUH!!!!”  That passionate writing mojo said, “Oh, yeah!  Now we got it!”  I literally heard these two thoughts (heard thoughts…whaaat?) in my head as soon as I read that statement in Alexa’s book.

There will never been the perfect time to have my “writing career take off” – Life Happens.  Life will ALWAYS happen.  I will always have road blocks being thrown up at me when it comes to writing.  Why, you ask?  Because in order to achieve something worthwhile, you will always have challenges testing you and your determination to obtain that achievement.

With this new thought process, I am now embracing my passionate writing mojo and I am just going to do it, no matter what.  Even if I am waking up at 4:30am wide awake after falling asleep only 30-minutes to an hour before, I will write.  I have thrown out the plans and goals and I am just going to write.  It doesn’t matter what I write or even how well I write, as long as I write, I will be organically working those plans and reaching those goals.

Goofy SurprisedIt is so refreshing and freeing to think this way.  I love it!  So, you and I will be having almost daily chats, Dear Bloggite, because I want to share my Journey with you and maybe you will decide to share your journey, no matter what it is, with me, I would love to be there for you and support you in this Journey we call Life.

My challenge to you today: Think about your life.  Is there something you always have an intent to do but somehow never get around to doing it?  What can you do, to make that intent happen?  Are you going to need to throw out the plans and goals, like I had to do or are you going to have to tweak your life a little bit to make it happen?  Let me know down below in the comments. 🙂

~4-Ever, P

Posted in #BloggiteBits Campaign

#BloggiteBits-Find T.R.U.S.T.

Find T.R.U.S.T.: Truthful words, Rely on honesty, Understand circumstances, Share openly, Try empathy

#BloggiteBits-Find Trust
Find T.R.U.S.T.

How do you know if someone is trustworthy?  Do you go by your gut instinct or by looks or by how they react to situations?  I am a believer in gut instincts for the most part, but I never let my instinct get in the way of getting to know someone.  In this installment of the ABCs of encouragement with the #BloggiteBits Campaign I am going to challenge you to Find T.R.U.S.T. in this world and others: Truthful words, Rely on honesty, Understand circumstances, Share openly, & Try empathy.

Truthful words: Words have an impact on every single person in this world.  Be it positive or negative, those words are taken to heart and do impact the way a person views themselves or their lives.  Even the toughest person can feel damaging effects from an ill spoken word.  In order to find trust and build trust, you should always be cognizant of what you are saying to someone and how it is impacting their life.  Speak truthful words to all you come in contact with, even if you are giving some kind of bad news, you can always say it in a way where it is not attacking the person you are telling.  Be truthful with your words and always strive to use positive words over negative words.

Rely on honesty: Honesty is a key element to all relationships.  As soon as dishonesty enters into a relationship, it begins to fester and form walls between the two parties.  Rely on honest feedback from yourself and others when dealing with situations.  Finding trust is hard for most people, even though they have a desire to trust, a person is more apt to shy away from someone once they find out they are being dishonest.  If you stay honest to others, they can being to rely on you and as others are honest with you, you will begin to rely on them and your relationship.

Understand circumstances: One of the greatest gifts we can give each other is understanding.  No one knows what you are going through in your life unless you share it with them.  When someone trusts you enough to share their intimate parts of their life that are not so great, finding an understanding in their circumstances will strengthen your relationship with them.  If you stop and take the time to understand the circumstances someone is going through, you will be able to adjust how you interact with them and what words you are going to say.  Everyone needs and wants understanding.

Share openly: It is hard to open up to people, at least it is for most people.  In order to find trust in relationships, you much be willing to share openly with others about your life, circumstances, and dreams.  Do not be afraid to share with someone in an open, honest way.  Even if they may not respond as you would like them to, sharing openly helps you to assess yourself and say, “I am worth getting to know and I am willing to risk the chance by being open.”  Our default is to guard our hearts and thoughts when dealing with others, but allowing someone into your life and through the guards, you will help grow your relationship to the next level of finding trust.  Share openly with others, you have a right to your opinions and feelings and taking that risk will be worth it in the end.

Try empathy: Empathy is different from sympathy.  When you feel empathy, you are truly feeling and understanding that person’s emotions or experiences.  Sympathy is just an understanding of a person’s feelings.  When dealing with others, try to empathize with them on what they are going through.  Not everyone experiences the same things, but everyone can find a similar situation that entails the same emotions.  An empathetic person has a better understanding of what people are feeling.  Finding trust is hard but when you find someone you can empathize with, it makes it easier to find trust in the relationship you have together.

~4-Ever, P